Reference
The Five STEPS Skills
A deep reference page for the student-facing skills that give the framework its daily language.
Start
when stuck
Task initiation is not a character trait. Beginning is often the hardest moment, especially when executive load is high.
Why it matters: Adele Diamond's work on executive function and Peg Dawson and Richard Guare's work on task initiation make clear that beginning is a developmental and teachable capacity, not a moral one.
| Cycle | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Stability | Adult prompts and co-starts. |
| Momentum | Student names they are stuck and asks for help. |
| Resilience | Student uses a routine independently. |
| Agency | Student starts and can coach others. |
- Teacher: identify the smallest possible first move.
- Guardian: reduce the ask to one visible step.
- What gets in the way: assigning the whole task when the bottleneck is only the beginning.
Pause
when escalating
Pause interrupts the escalation pathway before a moment hardens into rupture.
Why it matters: Siegel and Bryson, Porges, and Linehan all point toward the same reality: regulation depends on creating space before reaction becomes action.
| Cycle | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Stability | Adult names escalation and offers a pause. |
| Momentum | Student pauses when cued. |
| Resilience | Student pauses independently. |
| Agency | Student prevents escalation early. |
- Teacher: model Pause visibly.
- Guardian: pause with the child rather than at them.
- What gets in the way: using Pause like a disciplinary command.
Reset
when overwhelmed
Reset restores the minimum conditions for re-engagement without pretending the student can simply continue as if nothing happened.
Why it matters: Porges and Shanker help explain why overwhelm is physiological before it is behavioral and why restoration must come before demand.
| Cycle | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Stability | Adult structures the reset. |
| Momentum | Student asks for a reset. |
| Resilience | Student uses a known routine. |
| Agency | Student resets and returns independently. |
- Teacher: preserve dignity while lowering demand.
- Guardian: ask what is needed rather than insisting on immediate return.
- What gets in the way: treating overwhelm as excuse rather than state.
Recover
when things go wrong
Recover teaches students that setbacks are not verdicts. They are moments that can be understood and built from.
Why it matters: Dweck and Greene both support the move from shame to information and from blame to lagging skill.
| Cycle | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Stability | Adult names what happened and co-regulates. |
| Momentum | Student answers a guided debrief. |
| Resilience | Student re-engages independently. |
| Agency | Student adjusts their own systems. |
- Teacher: use the three questions consistently.
- Guardian: separate accountability from humiliation.
- What gets in the way: demanding apology before understanding.
Reflect
to improve next time
Reflect builds the metacognitive habit that allows learning to accumulate.
Why it matters: Flavell's work on metacognition and Ryan and Deci's work on autonomy make clear that students need structured opportunities to notice their own learning process.
| Cycle | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Stability | Teacher-led reflection. |
| Momentum | Structured prompt. |
| Resilience | Student-generated questions. |
| Agency | Ongoing reflective practice. |
- Teacher: close every session with Reflect.
- Guardian: keep the tone brief and low-pressure.
- What gets in the way: turning reflection into evaluation.